I am incredibly excited for my guest blogger today, the fabulous Debra Kristi.
The first time I visited Debra’s blog it was love at first read. Whether it is her “Immortal Monday” series, which is right up my fantasy nerd heart’s ally, or one of her many inspirational posts, I always know that I am going to find something enjoyable. I was absolutely thrilled when she agreed to write something up for me and, let me tell you, it is a good one. Take it away Debra!
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It’s a real pleasure to be here at the home of the sexy nerd, Jessica O’Neal. I want to be cool like her – shooting arrows with deadly accuracy. But that’s not why I accepted this gig. Anyone who knows Jessica knows what a fabulous, kind and true individual she is. That’s why I am here today!
Jessica has left the door wide open for me to discuss anything as long as it fits with her blog. That could be very dangerous, but I think I can keep myself in check.
Today, as I stood on the mid-way up the stairs, staring off into my living room at the splendor of my big beautiful Christmas tree –– YES, I know. It’s nearly the end of January and it’s still standing. Shame on me! But before any of you start looking at me funny, this leads me to my topic for today’s guest post – priorities.
The Tree Takes a Backseat
I held my coffee cup in hand and placed the box neatly beside the tree ready to collect all the ornaments so that the tree may be put away and stored until we do it all over again next year. My husband walks by and raises a brow, “Really, I thought we were just going to leave it up until next year and save ourselves the hassle?”
The man is a gem. He puts up with so much when it comes to our house. I’m a Type A personality. Translation — I go a little crazy when things are out of order or get a little messy. Well… I have had to do a little readjusting to that way of thinking or I would never get anything written – like EVER! I could seriously spend my entire day picking up after my kids, but where’s the fun in that?
Before the WIP I was always cleaning, organizing and spritzing. That was my typical day. But since I have made a full commitment to my manuscript, all hell has broken loose in the homestead. It has become a year of adjustment, as we all learned as a family what worked and what didn’t. The key lesson? That I needed to prioritize differently than I used to. And high on the list needed to be the really important things. The things that we sometimes take for granted – like time out with the kids or the husband. It seems obvious when you read or hear it, but living it is a different story. Life is funny that way. And so, when I started removing the ornaments that night and was then asked by my husband to join him for some television time, you can bet I did. The tree still stands.
Can I work on the tree while the kids are at school? You bet I can. But is that really more important than my workout or my writing? Again, it’s all a matter of priorities. I don’t care if the neighborhood thinks we’re crazy because our tree is still up. They probably think we’re a little crazy anyway. I am taking care of my most important needs first. My family and my (mental and physical) health come before the décor of my home. The holiday decorations… well, they are relegated to the back – the backseat, as my father always said.
I’m very capable of having the tree and all other Christmas decorations neatly put away by now. But I think you’re getting the picture. It hasn’t been the priority yet. Since joining the world of social media, I have opened myself up to many new things that fill my plate. And I am eternally grateful for all of it! I LOVE all the people I have met and the conversations we have. Sure, it cuts into my already short days, but that just means I need to keep my priorities in line even more. This is a good thing.
It’s been months since this weird pressure cooker living started in my home. My brain is feeling a little like a slurpee. Everything could be easily stiffened out with a straw, if you could only get that straw through my thick skull. Trying to do everything contributed to its rapid deterioration. But setting my sights on the most important things to me and dealing with the other items in small doses have helped me get back in control. So far, so good.
I used to be a serious list person. I made a list for everything. Somewhere along the line I lost my way. I didn’t want to take the time to make the list, so I chanced it and started going without. As a result I’d go shopping and forget small items. What does that get me – another trip to the store – more time wasted than it would have taken to make a list in the first place. Lesson learned – prioritize! Make lists.
Now I make a daily reminder list. I’ll remind myself that I am not my protagonist and I can not take on the world in the same manner. I will be forced to check off that my bra is on underneath my shirt and not over it. I’ll make sure I put the milk away in the refrigerator and not the pantry. These are all good places to start.
And when Christmas rolls around next year, I will likely have started a new tradition of celebrating all holidays in December because none of the decorations were put away throughout the year. That’s right. We’ll be trendsetters. And when Christmas rolls around, the tree will already be up!
How about you? How are you prioritizing? How have your priorities affected the home and family?
Big thanks to Jessica for having me over. I hope everyone enjoyed my post. 
(Waving) Bye all!
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I want to say a huge thank you to Debra for writing this post. This is something that I for one need to be reminded of constantly. I am not always the best at sticking to the priorities I set for myself.
Debra Kristi lives with her two kids, husband, and a Green Tree Frog names Darth. She is currently working on her first upper young adult fantasy trilogy. You can connect with her through her blog and twitter.
I completely understand, Debra. I have to prioritize my day as well. My husband’s ever-changing work schedule means that my daily schedule shifts as well. I dream of one day have a nice, constant routine. Ah, but what’s the fun in that either?
By the way, I like the trendsetting idea. Very cool. LOL!
Thanks for reminding me that something just need to stay in the backseat and Jessica, thanks for hosting!
Great post!
Jennifer
Thanks Jennifer. It’s been an adjustment for me this year. My personality type likes everything in its place, so every time I walk past that tree I feel the stress level rise. LOL But we have been overwhelmed since returning from our trip. One can only do so much. Sometime you just need to let it go. I am learning to let it go.
You are so right about prioritizing! I have had to learn to let a lot of things go. Like cooking and cleaning, for starters. And this year I didn’t put up a tree at all. I have a fireplace and I decorate the mantle for every holiday or season. It takes about 5 minutes and it can stay up for a month or two. But, I left it at that this year. I figured, I go to my parents’ house for Christmas anyway, and they have two trees. Oh, and I haven’t washed my car in so long I can’t remember. Now I’m used to the writing in the dust along my bumper and door, so I don’t want to wash it away. Great post! Putting first things first is so important!
Love it! You made me chuckle out loud. You sound like me. My husband suggested we forgo the tree this year, but you can’t do that when you have kids. The sad thing is – we have 2 trees! Ugh. The kids have their own tree that they decorated. Of course I can’t get them to undecorated it. I told them I’m not putting it up next year. Too much work when everything is always left for me. I have given up on cooking and cleaning as well. My family has pretty much accepted that. To engage in such activities means no time for writing. Again, it comes down to priorities… eat – write? Hmmm. LOL
Wait. You are supposed to wash your car? I thought that’s what rain was for.
You get rain? I was at my mom’s and it rained. My car came home even worse! It was covered in mud. Awesome!!
I’m SO PROUD of you for prioritizing your personal needs, Debra! Too many allow “life” to get in the way of writing and other pursuits. We all need, and deserve, to give ourselves some wiggle room and know that we can do it all. I bet your whole family is also benefitting from your fab prioritizing, too. (As are your adoring readers and fans…
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Thank you August! I am really learning to put my priorities first. It’s been a wonderful change, but not an easy one for me. If only I could afford someone to clean up the house for me. That would be FANTASTIC!!!
Two of my favorite ladies in the same place. Thank you, Jessica, for having Debra over for a visit. And thank you, Debra, for your perpetually positive perspective. (How’s that for alliteration?) Some of my other writer friends were discussing this just a few weeks ago, and they all came to the realization that yes, the house could do with a good cleaning, but who really cares, anyway? You’d think my mom would be the “Dirt Master” when she visits, but it’s actually my dad who never fails to say, “Don’t you have a broom?” Ha. But my secret to a presentable house? Low lighting
LOLOLOLOL, Mike! Thank you for sharing your secret. I keep telling my husband that the moment we can afford it, I am hiring a maid. I HATE cleaning so much, but I also love having a clean home. Can you spot the problem there? All my family and friends learned a long time ago that they are not allowed to just “drop by”. I must be given enough of a warning to make the rooms they will see presentable and close the doors to the rest, haha.
Hahaha. I’m the same way Jessica. And they can’t call when they are just around the corner. I will send them away! LOL But my family all lives 2 hours away. They will always give me a days’ notice – at least. My husband is always using the low lighting method. Is that what he’s doing? Hiding the mess? It has resulted in many of my bruises. Heehee. I tend to walk into things. Err, oops. But I’d rather walk around the house with my eyes closed and envision it clean and beautiful than accept the reality sometimes. I create fantasy, that’s what I do.
I think this is a huge struggle for all of us. Prioritizing. I can easily get sucked into life and this that and the other thing and then before I know it, the day is gone and I didn’t get my top priority tasks done. It’s a work in progress. LOL!
I read a great post from Tia Bach on the art of saying no and she wrote that when you say “no” to someone, you are in essence saying “yes” to yourself. I loved that. I really hit home to me.
GREAT post – thanks for hosting the uber fabulous Debra, Jessica.
That post by Tia sounds like a must read. She is right. We tend to dwell on the negative aspect of the “no” we are putting out there, when in reality we REALLY are saying “yet” to ourselves. Thank you for that reminder. You and I both have that problem, getting distracted by the wrong things and missing the priority. We can both work on that. Thanks Natalie!
Don’t feel like the Lone Ranger, Debra. My tree and Christmas village are still up. Of course we’ve gotten into the habit of a little “Christmas in February” the past few years. I also buy ‘stocking stuffers,’ inexpensive gifts that no one can unwrap UNTIL THE DECORATIONS ARE DOWN AND PUT AWAY. You’d be surprised at how much cooperation and help you get for a few fairly cheap gifts. It used to be mostly my job until I started doing that.
It looks like you’re setting your priorities just fine. Remember…don’t sweat the small stuff. I love that saying.
Nice to meet you, Jessica! Thanks for hosting Debra.
I love that idea! I might need to adopt it. I bet they would put their tree away for a hypoallergenic cat. That’s the topic of discussion this weekend.
What a fabulous epiphany, Debra! Family + WIP, all that really matters. Love it.
Thank you Debra. It’s not easy letting go of old habits, but recognizing the priorities is the first step in the right direction. I’m glad you could stop by.
Introducing social media definitely forced me to rearrange my priorities. Some days are more balanced than others, and I haven’t quite worked out a completely efficient system yet, but I’m also feeling like my brain is a slurpee lately. I’m getting close to wanting to go unplugged for a bit, watch some Disney movies, and actually relax.
I can understand that Angela. I wasn’t to be able to do that without feeling guilty. I realize I’m the one making myself feel that way and so I’m the only one who can stop it. Rearranging, it’s hard work.
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