As everyone should know by now, I am a klutz. I’ve already talked about some of my greatest falls, but there is another, often more dangerous hazard than falling within the world of the clumsy – the propensity to simply run into things. Walls, poles, doors, tables, chairs…you name it, I’ve run into it. I run into things so frequently that half the time I don’t even consciously realize I have done it. Not really a big deal, but it leads to an interesting phenomenon. I am constantly covered in bruises with no idea where they came from. 
This past week has been a particularly bad week for injuries. Some of them I knew the cause right away, some I figured out later, and some I still don’t know. The easiest one to place was the injury on my forehead. This one I knew was going to leave a gnarly knot and bruise. You know how most showers have a bar along the short wall opposite the nozzle? Well, I’m not really sure what happened, but somehow I managed to whack my head against the corner of that bar while stepping in the shower. It hurt. Really bad. My mom heard the sound from the other room and thought something had fallen. Nope. Just my head making very loud contact with a very hard surface. It still hurts and it has been close to a week.
About two days ago I noticed a bruise in a very odd spot. It was on my lower arm which is an extremely difficult area to bruise (trust me, I’m an expert). This one had me flummoxed. I had absolutely no idea where it came from…at least until something happened that gave me a pretty good idea (though I’m still not 100% sure). I was in the shower (apparently showers are dangerous for me) and was getting out. I had put the shower nozzle back in the holder, but half of the little plastic thing is broken off so you kind of have to place it carefully and balance it. Then I went to turn the water off and I guess the action of pressing the handle down caused the nozzle to shake or something because it came plummeting down and crashed into my outstretched arm. My arm was bright red for a good long while where it had been hit. No new bruise yet, but I am guessing this is where the old one came from.
My arms may seldom get bruises, but my poor legs. I don’t remember a time when I have not have at least one bruise or scrape on my legs. They take a beating and they show it. I am constantly hitting things with them or closing the car door so that the bottom corner scrapes across them or any number of other things. I do this kind of stuff so often that I rarely ever know where the bruises on my legs have come from.
Several days ago I was about to shave and when I looked down my eyes nearly popped out of my head they were stretched so wide. My inner thighs were COVERED in bruises. It looked like someone had taken a poker to my thighs. Then I noticed that there was one on my shin and a couple on my calf. I decided to count them and I had over TEN bruises! Seriously?! Where do they come from?? I thought and thought and thought and could not for the life of me figure out where I had gotten so many bruises so quickly without it being an event that I would remember. Later on that day it finally hit me. They were most likely from my battle with that damn hutch! If that’s not where they came from then I am at a complete and total loss.
So basically, for the past week or so I have looked like I got into a serious fight. Bruises, bruises everywhere. I swear, figuring out the origins of my injuries is like a mystery game. Where will they pop up next?
Do you ever get injuries of unknown origins? Do you share my gift for running into things when you walk? Share your own stories in the comments.
The shower was dangerous for Janet Leigh too, but at least she knew where her injuries came from.
Ha! Very true.
I feel your pain. I think I lack the ability to know where my body is in space, I guess spatial awareness, so I’m always running into stuff. So is my daughter. Well my son too, but he’s only 2, but I swear he’s losing IQ points from hitting his head.
Funny that you bruise like that but don’t feel the pain of it.
Oh, I feel the pain, it just happens so frequently that unless it is REALLY bad I forget about it pretty quickly. Glad to know I am not alone, though!
My husband is prone to blood clots so he takes blood thinners, which leads to massive bruising any time you hit one tiny little thing. He’s always covered in bruises too. Have you had your blood checked? Just a thought.
Wish I could offer something other than condolences, but my advice is to just be careful, Jessica. Goodness that’s annoying.
I usually know exactly where my bruises came from because I remember the actual hitting part so vividly.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
It’s not THAT bad, lol! But thank you for the concern.
When you run into things as often as I do the pain is only memorable for the things that really hurt!
LMAO… all I can say is, “Glad I’m not the only one!”
Hahaha! Oh no, you are not the only one at all.
I’m echoing Andi – Glad I’m not the only one. I play the same “where did that one come from?” game.
Yes, We Are Not Alone! (The WANA club applies to everything)
I rarely get bruises (though, I am half black so it is quite possible I just can’t see them) but I get cut constantly due to my refusal to avoid objects in my path. I also refuse to avoid people so watch out if I’m coming your way.