Tag Archives: guest blog

GUEST POST: Debra Kristi – An Asperger Geek Link

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As you should all know by now, April is Autism Awareness Month. Having spent three years working closely with children with autism, this is a subject very near to my heart. But I am not a parent of one of these wonderful children. So, no matter how much time I spent with them or how much I love them, I can’t speak to what it is like to be the parent of one and live with it 24/7. Thankfully, the wonderful Debra Kristi, who is the parent of an ASD child, agreed to share with us. I will now hand it over to her.

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Wow! It’s a pleasure to be here at Jessica’s castle of the Sexy Nerd again. I must admit to feeling rather nervous when Jessica first asked me to be a guest for her autism month. You see, my son was diagnosed as a high functioning Asperger late this last year, so the subject is still fairly new to me.

It’s easy for parent’s emotions to get clouded at the time of a new diagnosis such as this, but to be honest, it was a relief to finally make sense of all the outbursts, and uncharacteristic behaviors. For a child of ten it was troubling that he was still having a hard time making friends and becoming extremely anxious over change. By change, I mean things such as a new sports coach, for example. He also wouldn’t hold eye contact for more than thirty seconds nor stay in a conversation that wasn’t one of his choosing. His monologue would go on without ceasing even when the world appeared to be ending for others around him, he’d simply talk right over the crazy. It was maddening. But finally, having something to work with made approaching each situation somehow more doable and less frightening.

We can now better help direct him, as we are more appropriately prepared to help him be a more productive member of society. It takes time and effort, but he can learn to pick up on those social queues that come so naturally to so many of us. People with Aspergers live in a different world than you and me. They see things in their own kind of light. In many ways, it’s rather brilliant and amazing. When the little kids around him were singing “Wheels on the Bus” my son was humming the full orchestration theme to Star Wars or Indiana Jones. When talking to an adult, he will almost always say things that sound years ahead of his age, and come across as considerate and bright. But in dealing with children his own age, that’s where his social skills are lacking and where much of our challenge lies. This last year we saw some vast improvements because we addressed them in new ways.

It used to be that autism cases were 1 in 10,000. But those numbers are rapidly growing. In the 1990’s they had already tripled in California. Aspergers is one of the disorders on the autistic spectrum. It’s a milder form of the condition. While a large percentage of those with other autistic disorders may suffer from mild to severe mental subnormality, Aspergers generally have average – or even very high IQs.

One area where the rates are especially elevated are Santa Clara County. What do you think of when you hear that? Silicon Valley, right? Geek central. Aspergers is becoming known as the engineers disorder. One of the single minded.

As the increase of children born with Aspergers in these areas continues, a reverse diagnosis is taking place. Parents are finding out that they have a milder version of the syndrome. Areas such as Silicon Valley bring together people of like minds that are more likely to already be on the autistic spectrum and are therefore more likely to produce autistic, or Asperger children. Some economic and business areas are prepared for this and have schooling systems in place to meet the families’ needs.

This increase in the autistic and Asperger syndrome is a more recent development with the education of women and their entrance into the computer, educational and programming fields where we see many of these developments taking place as a result of these like types pairing up and starting families. But they are not contained to just these areas. It is wide spread as techie minded and artistic types are in many fields.

Of course environmental factors have not been ruled out and are still being looked into, but it is believed by scientist that genetics does play a part. As to how much, it’s hard to say.

When my son was diagnosed, my family started sending me articles. I jumped on the internet and borrowed books to do my own research. You can imagine how this new knowledge overwhelmed me. But, as it settled in, it started to make sense. Looking back through my family line and what I know of my husband’s, I can see the syndrome playing a part in our bloodlines, mild as it may be, and undiagnosed through all these years. It’s rather fascinating to think about, really.

My son is smart and he is coming along fine. He will do alright in life. His hardest challenge will always be on the social end of things, but he has a support group now to help him see his way. Who knows, he may be one of tomorrow’s brilliant minds. Personally, I hope he develops his amazing art talent. But it’s all up to him. The future is wide open.

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I would like to give a HUGE thank you to Debra for writing this post and sharing this part of her life with us. If you are curious about the subject that Debra brought up and would like to read more, you can check out The Geek Syndrome, published in Wired Magazine.

Debra Kristi lives with her husband, two active children, and one White’s Tree Frog. She is currently working on her first Young Adult Fantasy novel, but has many more stories to share. She holds a degree in Operations Management and a Professional Designation in Visual Display and Spatial Design. When not writing or trapped in homework hell, she is usually building puzzles or Legos with her kids in her free time.

GUEST POST: Natalie Hartford – Making a Love List

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I am very excited to bring you today’s guest post by my good friend, the “ahhh-mazing” Natalie Hartford. She’s an urban redneck; a cross-breed of city girl and redneck. She loves high heels, bling, all things pink and sparkly along with ball caps, 4X4ing, camping, and drinkin’ beer. She often mistakes tacky for fahbulous! She’s also a writer just starting out in the adventure of novel writing and has been blogging for about a year and a half. She entertains me with posts such as women peeing standing up, Twisted Tuesday fun with stuff like sunglasses that rock my beer or a new trailer hitch stripper pole, and her Urban Word Wednesdays where she teaches us words like masturcising and vajazzle.

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I am super excited to be here Jessica, thanks so much for having me at your digs. It’s so fun and fresh here. The color just picks my mood up and sets me on my way!

This January instead of making a New Year’s resolution, I made a quit list. My quit list included a number of things I want to stop doing in order to become more productive in my life. I am determined to stay focused and centered on my priorities this year! And although I love my quit list, I am a strong believe in what you focus on grows so I decided to make a Love List as well. You know, gotta cover my bases from every angle of the karma spectrum!

My Love List is a compilation of things I’d love to do or start doing in 2012. When I started my Love List, I eliminated roadblocks and dream killers. This isn’t a list I’ll be accountable to and I won’t be crossing things off or feeling guilty about undone tasks at the end of the year.

On the contrary, I plan on adding things to my Love List while removing other things throughout the year because I want my Love List to grow, change, and flourish with me. It’s a reflection of who I am, my dreams and my inner most goals. I plan on using my Love List to fuel my creativity by being a constant reminder of what is most important in my life.

My 2012 Love List:

  • Learn Spanish
  • Read writing craft books
  • Take some online writing courses
  • Read a lot of fiction in a variety of genre
  • Travel to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
  • Walk the dog more often
  • Eat healthy and exercise more
  • Rework my office so it reflects me and my writing
  • Do more spontaneous romantic gestures to hubby
  • Be a great friend
  • Make new friends
  • Be a supportive blogger
  • Take time for me
  • Learn to meditate
  • Write a book
  • Have as much fun as possible
  • Learn to snowmobile
  • Be authentic and honest
  • Enjoy more compassion
  • Do meaningful work
  • Learn a new hobby (like Jessica learning archery – sooo cool and such an inspiration)

What would you really love to do in 2012 (and beyond)? Have you made a Love List before? Will you?

Thank you again for having me Jessica! It’s been fun!

GUEST POST: Karen Rought – My Favorite Female Artists

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I am very excited to have Karen Rought here today as my guest blogger. She and I met through Twitter because she listens to Glee Chat and had been tweeting about it. Through the course of our conversations we discovered that we were both writers and a wonderful friendship was born. Since then she has started her own blog, The Midnight Novelist, where she can “finally spill the contents of [her] mind out into the world for everyone to see” and I promise you it is well worth a visit. She is a nerd after my own heart and I am so grateful for all the support she has given me since we met. Take it away, Karen!

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 I’d first like to start off by thanking Jess for letting me guest post for her – it’s an honor! I hope you guys enjoy this post as much as I enjoy reading Jess’.

My Favorite Female Artists

If I asked you to name five famous artists right now, on the spot, who would you pick? Da Vinci? Michelangelo? Degas, Renoir, or Van Gogh? Those are the ones that came to my head first. But what’s missing? Any takers?

Um, how about those females? It might not be surprising to hear that there aren’t a whole lot of female artists that have broken out of the crowd and become as famous as their male counterparts. Even the earliest female artists were more like crafters – weavers, quilters, and jewelry makers.

That’s not to say that there weren’t plenty of professional artists as well, like sculptors and painters. Just as it is with male artists, it can be very difficult in the classical world (think: Greek and Roman) to find out who has created the masterpieces that have survived to this day. We start seeing signed pieces in the years after this era, throughout the Medieval period and up through the Renaissance and beyond.

If you’re unfamiliar with any female artists, I’m here to help. Below you’ll find a list of my top five favorite female artists:

Mary Cassatt

Woman and Child Driving

Mary Cassatt is considered to be one of the best American artists (of either gender) in her generation. She was born in 1844, in Pittsburgh. She found Paris a little more exciting, though, and moved there in order to continue her painting career. Mary was an Impressionist, and had learned from many of the greats of her time (Manet and Degas among them).

My favorite thing about her, though, was her ability to paint women in a way that had rarely been seen before. She didn’t paint them as part of the background, and she didn’t paint them as nudes. Instead, she made women the subject of the painting and painted them doing things and living their lives. You can see this clearly in her painting Woman and Child Driving, which showcases the two females in the front of the carriage. The male chauffeur is actually in the back, riding as a passenger.

Edmonia Lewis

Forever Free

It was hard enough being a woman in the mid-1800’s, but how about a half African-American, half Native American woman? She was raised as a Chippewa Indian and was born in Albany, New York. Despite these obvious obstacles, Edmonia created beautiful and realistic sculptures. And they weren’t frilly, girly statues, either. Many of them made serious political and cultural statements.

Forever Free is my favorite artwork from Edmonia. It is made out of marble and depicts a woman kneeling in prayer, with an African American man standing next to her. He is raising his left arm to show his broken bonds of slavery.

Rosa Bonheur

The Horse Fair

Rosa was born in France in 1822 and was something of a different creature in a world of figure painters. Not only were her subjects mainly animals, but she chose to paint them in peaceful and natural scenes. Many painters before her depicted animals in a savage way – violent and bloody. They tended to represent the untamed wilderness or (for Christian painters) evil and troublesome beings. Rosa’s paintings, particularly the ones that depict horses, were a far cry from that norm.

My favorite painting from Rosa is The Horse Fair. The naturalism of the horses is incredible, and the entire scene is fluid and mesmerizing. This was her masterpiece, and it was widely accepted by critics and the public.

Frida Kahlo

Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird

If I told you to pick just one female artist off the top of your head, chances are Frida Kahlo would be one of your choices. She was a famous and influential painter, though I’m sure most people know her monobrow self portraits more than her life as a painter. She actually had a wonderful life, though it was sometimes turbulent. She was born in 1910 in Mexico. She was married to the famed Diego Rivera – it was a stormy relationship, to say the least, and one that gave much inspiration to her paintings.

If Mary Cassatt set the standard for “flawed” (read: realistic) women in art, Frida took it one step further. Yes, that’s really what she looked like – monobrow and all. She painted what she saw in the mirror, and she painted her own reality. Her work was often full of symbolism (she was a Surrealist) and especially showed her pride in being of Amerindian descent (more specifically, Aztec). You can see this in her Self-portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird.

Artemisia Gentileschi

Judith Slaying Holofernes

This girl rocks, if not for her amazing art than for her sheer will to live on after everything that happened to her. Her father was Orazio Gentileschi, an Italian painter who produced works in Caravaggio’s style. Naturally, Artemisia also developed a Caravaggesque style. She was incredibly talented, so her father sent her to work with Agostino Tassi – a successful artist who was receiving major commissions for paintings that were to be put up in Roman palaces. Tassi was a horrible man. He raped Artemisia and continued to have sexual relations with her. He promised to marry her – and in so doing restore her honor and respectability – but he had no intention of fulfilling it. Orazio sued Tassi, and Artemisia had to go to trial…where she was tortured on the stand with thumbscrews (a 17th century lie detector). Tassi went to prison, but was eventually released. Artemisia was publicly humiliated.

Caravaggio Judith Beheading Holofernes

Artemisia eventually moved on. She married a Florentine and moved to Florence. Caravaggio had very little influence there, and she did her part to spread his style in that area of Italy. Judith Decapitating Holofernes is arguably her most famous work. When comparing it to Caravaggio’s painting of the same subject, you can see the similarities in style. However, Artemisia’s is far more violent and dramatic – due in part to her own violent history. She was an incredible painter – and I don’t just mean female painter – and despite the times and restraints placed on women, she still came out on top. The style, subject, and naturalism of her painting of Judith makes Artemisia my all time favorite female artist.

So, what did you guys think? Did I introduce you to some new artists? Did you like any of them? Let me know what you think in the comments below. (I’ll also be hovering in case you have any questions! This was a super basic rundown on some very prolific and complicated individuals, and I had to keep it short and sweet so you guys didn’t fall asleep. ;) )

GUEST POST: Marcy Kennedy – Icarus and My Fear of the Sun

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I am so excited for today’s guest blogger, Marcy Kennedy. Marcy’s blog, Life at Warp 10, is one  of my absolute favorite blogs. She is a fellow nerd and is a master at taking familiar stories that we nerds love and applying them to real life in some profound way. That is exactly what she has done with today’s guest post, this time through the story of Icarus. Without further ado, I will hand it over.

Icarus and My Fear of the Sun

I have an unusual fear, one I don’t normally talk about. I’m terrified of ending up like Icarus.

Icarus’ story is one most of us have heard. Icarus and his father, Daedalus, were imprisoned in a tower by King Minos so that Daedalus couldn’t share information with the public about the Labyrinth he’d built for Minos. Because Minos guarded both land and sea routes, chances of escape seemed slim.

But Daedalus was a talented inventor. To escape, he created wings from feathers and wax for himself and Icarus. He told Icarus not to fly too high, or the sun would melt the wax holding his wings together, and not to fly too low, because the spray from the sea would saturate the feathers and drag him down.

Partway home, Icarus, drunk on the joy of flying and freedom, forgot his father’s warning and soared too high. The scorching sun melted the wax, he lost all his feathers, and he plunged into the sea below. In the end, he drowned.

Like most people, I’m afraid of failure, of getting my feathers wet because I couldn’t figure out how to fly high enough, and simply sinking away into the sea. Forgotten.

But I’m more afraid of success.

It’s why I don’t know how to take a compliment. The first time my flute teacher told me my low notes sounded full and rich, I can remember not wanting to play any more low notes in front of her. What if that success was a fluke and I couldn’t replicate it? It sounds silly, but it’s true.

Every time I succeed, or receive a compliment, like Icarus I want to fly higher, do better next time. I want the joy in that moment to last forever. But I also I don’t want to disappoint anyone who had great hopes for me. I want to live up to all their good opinions and show them their faith in me was justified. Each success takes me higher and means I have farther to drop should I fall.

And with each success comes the fear that I’ve finally gone too high and reached a level I’m not able to maintain. I’ll scorch my feathers in the sun and free fall, disappointing everyone who glued a feather onto my wings.

I think, though, that I might have finally figured out the secret to staying in the air, even if I start to fall. Icarus and his father were alone on their flight, so his father couldn’t warn him in time and, when Icarus fell, his father wasn’t able to save him. One set of wings wasn’t enough to hold up two people.

But two or three sets of wings might have been able to support the additional weight. If we surround ourselves by a loyal group of friends rather than going it alone or only flying with one, we’ll have people who can catch us before it’s too late. We’ll also have extra sets of eyes to warn us if we start to fly too high and take on more than we’re capable of handling. Together, we’ll all be able to reach our goals.

Are you more afraid of success or of failure? Who do you look to when you’re afraid you’re about to fall?

Marcy Kennedy is a fantasy author who also works as a freelance writer for magazines, newspapers, and non-profits and a freelance editor for both businesses and individuals. Her current work-in-progress is a co-written historical fantasy about Amazons. When she’s not wrestling unruly commas, she spends her time with her equally nerdy husband, her Great Dane, and more cats than she’s willing to admit to in public. You can visit her at her blog, Life At Warp 10.

GUEST POST: Debra Kristi – The Tree Takes a Backseat

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I am incredibly excited for my guest blogger today, the fabulous Debra Kristi.

The first time I visited Debra’s blog it was love at first read. Whether it is her “Immortal Monday” series, which is right up my fantasy nerd heart’s ally, or one of her many inspirational posts, I always know that I am going to find something enjoyable. I was absolutely thrilled when she agreed to write something up for me and, let me tell you, it is a good one. Take it away Debra!

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It’s a real pleasure to be here at the home of the sexy nerd, Jessica O’Neal. I want to be cool like her – shooting arrows with deadly accuracy. But that’s not why I accepted this gig. Anyone who knows Jessica knows what a fabulous, kind and true individual she is. That’s why I am here today!

Jessica has left the door wide open for me to discuss anything as long as it fits with her blog. That could be very dangerous, but I think I can keep myself in check.

Today, as I stood on the mid-way up the stairs, staring off into my living room at the splendor of my big beautiful Christmas tree –– YES, I know. It’s nearly the end of January and it’s still standing. Shame on me! But before any of you start looking at me funny, this leads me to my topic for today’s guest post – priorities.

The Tree Takes a Backseat

I held my coffee cup in hand and placed the box neatly beside the tree ready to collect all the ornaments so that the tree may be put away and stored until we do it all over again next year. My husband walks by and raises a brow, “Really, I thought we were just going to leave it up until next year and save ourselves the hassle?”

The man is a gem. He puts up with so much when it comes to our house. I’m a Type A personality. Translation — I go a little crazy when things are out of order or get a little messy. Well… I have had to do a little readjusting to that way of thinking or I would never get anything written – like EVER! I could seriously spend my entire day picking up after my kids, but where’s the fun in that?

Before the WIP I was always cleaning, organizing and spritzing. That was my typical day. But since I have made a full commitment to my manuscript, all hell has broken loose in the homestead. It has become a year of adjustment, as we all learned as a family what worked and what didn’t. The key lesson? That I needed to prioritize differently than I used to. And high on the list needed to be the really important things. The things that we sometimes take for granted – like time out with the kids or the husband. It seems obvious when you read or hear it, but living it is a different story. Life is funny that way. And so, when I started removing the ornaments that night and was then asked by my husband to join him for some television time, you can bet I did. The tree still stands.

Can I work on the tree while the kids are at school? You bet I can. But is that really more important than my workout or my writing? Again, it’s all a matter of priorities. I don’t care if the neighborhood thinks we’re crazy because our tree is still up. They probably think we’re a little crazy anyway. I am taking care of my most important needs first. My family and my (mental and physical) health come before the décor of my home. The holiday decorations… well, they are relegated to the back – the backseat, as my father always said.

I’m very capable of having the tree and all other Christmas decorations neatly put away by now. But I think you’re getting the picture. It hasn’t been the priority yet. Since joining the world of social media, I have opened myself up to many new things that fill my plate. And I am eternally grateful for all of it! I LOVE all the people I have met and the conversations we have. Sure, it cuts into my already short days, but that just means I need to keep my priorities in line even more. This is a good thing.

It’s been months since this weird pressure cooker living started in my home. My brain is feeling a little like a slurpee. Everything could be easily stiffened out with a straw, if you could only get that straw through my thick skull. Trying to do everything contributed to its rapid deterioration. But setting my sights on the most important things to me and dealing with the other items in small doses have helped me get back in control. So far, so good.

I used to be a serious list person. I made a list for everything. Somewhere along the line I lost my way. I didn’t want to take the time to make the list, so I chanced it and started going without. As a result I’d go shopping and forget small items. What does that get me – another trip to the store – more time wasted than it would have taken to make a list in the first place. Lesson learned – prioritize! Make lists.

Now I make a daily reminder list. I’ll remind myself that I am not my protagonist and I can not take on the world in the same manner. I will be forced to check off that my bra is on underneath my shirt and not over it. I’ll make sure I put the milk away in the refrigerator and not the pantry. These are all good places to start.

And when Christmas rolls around next year, I will likely have started a new tradition of celebrating all holidays in December because none of the decorations were put away throughout the year. That’s right. We’ll be trendsetters. And when Christmas rolls around, the tree will already be up!

How about you? How are you prioritizing? How have your priorities affected the home and family?

Big thanks to Jessica for having me over. I hope everyone enjoyed my post. ;-) (Waving) Bye all!

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I want to say a huge thank you to Debra for writing this post. This is something that I for one need to be reminded of constantly. I am not always the best at sticking to the priorities I set for myself.

Debra Kristi lives with her two kids, husband, and a Green Tree Frog names Darth. She is currently working on her first upper young adult fantasy trilogy. You can connect with her through her blog and twitter.

GUEST POST: Coty Chanley – lolcats 101: A Lesson in Funny

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You know, today has just been one of those days. The original person I had lined up to do a guest post for today fell through, so yesterday I asked my really good friend and Glee Chat co-host, Coty, if he would write one up for me. He very graciously agreed and then, lo and behold, his computer stopped working. Thankfully, he loves me, so he gave me permission to steal a post of my choosing from his blog. Thanks, Coty!

The post that I am going to share for you is one that he actually wrote for me specifically and requires a brief set up. One day he and I were talking and he started going off about something called “lolcats”. I had no idea what he was talking about, but he seemed to think they were hilarious. Coty and I pretty much have the same sense of humor – very rarely does one of us not laugh at something the other thinks is funny – so I was excited to be let in on the joke. I eagerly waited for him to send me a link to a blog post he did using these lolcats. I rushed to click it when it finally arrived and raced to read through the post.

Um…wait. That’s it? Lolcats are just crazy pictures of cats with captions using poor grammar and spelling? How is that funny? I didn’t get it at all.

Coty was absolutely incredulous at what he considered my lack of humor, so he decided to “give me a lesson in funny”. The only other thing you may not know is that John Thrasher is the host of Glee Chat, the one who brought us all together. You will understand why that’s important in a second. ;)

lolcats 101: A Lesson in Funny

My dearest friend Jessica doesn’t think lolcats are funny. I think it’s because she’s old. So I’m going to school her on the fine art of lolcats and show her how funny they really are.

OKAI SO  LISTN UP WOMAN

Squirls wif bad speling  not funni

Deer wif bad speling  not funni

John Thrasher wif bad speling  okai kinda funni


Now, let’s do a little comparison between cats with great spelling, and cats with bad spelling.

Oh no, it seems I have  become entangled.

versus

O noe, I has gots  all imtangeld up

Now honestly Jessica, which one is more humorous? Hint: It’s the poor cat that has gots all imtangeld up. Here’s another comparison.

Dogs wif staches?  Giv me a braek.

versus

Nekkid kitteh playin vialins i laf my ass off

As u can see  I am korreckt 'bout stuff

Nao laf  or I cri. kthx bai.

A quick thank you to John for allowing me to make fun of him.

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I have to admit, this makes me crack up every time. I still don’t really think lolcats in general are funny, but for whatever reason this really and truly did make me laugh out loud. I shouldn’t be that surprised, though. I laugh out loud at nearly everything Coty does and if you have ever listened to Glee Chat you probably know exactly what I mean. Be sure to check out the rest of Coty’s blog and follow him on Twitter.

Had you ever heard of lolcats before this? Do you think they are funny or dumb? Let me know in the comments.

GUEST POST: Ginger Calem – Remeber your first car?

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After last weeks very fun blog awards I am excited to say that today I have a guest post from one of the very people I awarded: Ginger Calem. If you haven’t had a chance to check out her blog yet, you are about to discover just what you have been missing.

Ginger lives in Texas where she and her husband own a CrossFit strength and condition gym. She is also a writer of “humorous mystery and YA with a kiss of paranormal”. Just this week she started an initiative that joins these two passions called WritersButt. This project is all about helping us writers (and anyone else for that matter) get off our butts and do something about our physical health. She has done a lot of research which shows that the physical activity will ultimately aid us in our creative output rather than steal time away from writing. It is something well worth checking out.

Now on to her post, which I think we can pretty much all relate to. Get ready for a trip down memory lane (for those of us old enough anyway) as Ginger talks about her first car.

Remember your first car?

Do you remember your first car? I know I do and I’d be willing to bet that most of you all do as well. Before I get to what my first car looked like, let me ask you something else, did you get your first car at 16, right when you got your license? The reason I ask is that we are approaching a big milestone in our family. Our oldest child is approaching his 16th birthday and you can imagine what his single, zeroed-in, focus is on.

His First Car!

An example of a typical conversation with #1 as I shuttle him to his engagements:

Son: Did you see that?

Mom: What? Where?

Son: That car you just passed.

Mom: Was the driver texting and driving? Can you read the license plate?

Son: No.

Mom: Did they have a toddler not properly restrained in a car seat? Man, that makes me so mad.

Son: Mom, no, did you see the car? That car is legit.

*note: Legit does not refer to its legal road status, although we can hope.

Even though many of his friends who have turned 16 did in fact get their own car for their birthday, some of them NEW cars (what the what???), we have explained that doesn’t always happen. He may have to use his dad’s car, or perhaps mine. Oh, the horror in his eyes when faced with the idea of driving a ‘Mom-Car’! I might have uttered something about beggars can’t be choosers and his feet can get him places.

But this got me thinking back to my first car. I did share my mom’s car for a while. I had to drive my sister around too and run errands, but I didn’t care. I was driving! But soon, it was time for me to get my own set of wheels. One day we saw an old Volvo parked in our neighborhood with a For Sale sign. It was a 1977 Volvo. It had mustard yellow paint and dark brown interior and I loved it! It was $1500 and my mom, dad and I all split it. I named it The Pineapple.

(Not my actual car–can’t find photos–must organize garage–another blog post!)

That car drove great and it was safe. It did develop one idiosyncrasy. The driver’s door handle stopped opening from the outside. This meant that I had to unlock the passenger side, lean through and push the door open and run back around. OR—what usually happened is that I got in the passenger side and climbed over the center consol in my mini-skirt that matched my big 80’s hair and tassle boots. (I know you’re all glad I couldn’t find a picture!)

I had a friend who had a bright orange Thing! Man, that car was ‘legit’, let me tell you!

I think the best first car ever was my best friend Kimberly’s. She had an old tan Karmann Ghia. Sure, it sounds all cool, and trust me, it was. But it had a few idiosyncrasies of its own. First, it stalled ALL the time. Our high school was up on a huge hill and you had to inch your way up with all your classmates. When your car stalled on the way up that hill, everyone knew and they are all watching you get going again. To this day I swear that was the best practice on learning to drive a standard anyone could get.

But the really unique feature of her car was that the driver’s door wouldn’t stay closed. A hard right turn and the door would fly open. We felt the safest solution to this was to bungee cord the door handle to the emergency break. Sure, if she turned REALLY sharp, the door would still fly open but it slammed back pretty fast. Safety first, people!

(note, Kim’s car had WAY more character than this show-off, snazzy version!)

Our cars were part of who we were. We drove them loaded down with our friends to our off-campus lunch. We took them to the beach. Yes, we drove them more than a few times down to the border of Mexico for a night of well-behaved frivolity in Tijuana. Ah, the memories!

I think your first car needs to have some bumps and bruises. It should be safe, without a doubt, but a showcase car it should not be! First cars are the makings of stories and memories. It’s a right of passage and the more character and quirkiness the better!

So, as I negotiate this first car milestone with my son, I want to hear about YOUR first cars. I know there are some great stories out there. Take a trip back to your teenage years and the feeling of getting behind your own set of wheels, freedom calling your name … and tell us all about it!

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Thank you so much, Ginger, for that fabulous post! My first car was a red 1994 Toyota Celica. It had been my sister’s first car when she turned 16 and when I finally got around to the driving age (6 years later) she was purchasing her second car. I happen to have to most amazing sister in the world and, rather than trade her Celica in, she gave it to me. It was fully paid off and still ran great. That car lasted a very long time, but finally cranked for the last time a few years ago.

Be sure to connect with Ginger over at her blog and on twitter (after you tell us about your own first car, that is ;) ).

He Who Must Not Be Named

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Hey everyone! I hope that all of you had a fantastic holiday. I certainly did and can’t wait to tell you all about it later this week. :)

My regular blog post for today will be coming out a little later on, but first I have something really fun to share with all of you. The wonderful Debra Kristi invited me to write a guest piece for her “Immortal Monday” blog series. I was incredibly honored to be asked and jumped at the chance to accept her offer.

For my post, I was able to write about one of my most favorite topics, the Harry Potter series, this time in the form of He Who Must Not Be Named. Be sure to pop over and check out my take on The Dark Lord’s bid for immortality. In case you are not convinced yet, I will give you a little teaser:

You Know Who, He Who Must Not Be Named, The Dark Lord, Tom Riddle, Voldemort – he goes by many names, but no matter which one you use nearly everyone will know exactly who you are talking about. In her Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling created one of the most complex and unforgettable villains around. The thing that has always fascinated me the most about Voldemort is, even though he has the stereotypical “bad guy” goals (take over the world, make everyone bow to his will, etc.), those do not serve as his primary driver. The thing that propels him forward in his bid for power, rather, is an overwhelming compulsion to defeat death. He wants to be immortal.

http://debrakristi.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/immortal-monday-%E2%98%85-he-who-must-not-be-named-%E2%98%85-guest-post-by-jessica-oneal/

 

GUEST POST: Liz Schulte – Rules to Survive a Horror Movie

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This Friday’s guest blogger is the wonderfully fun Liz Schulte. Just three days ago the first book in Liz’s Guardian Trilogy, which is called Secrets, was released. The description reads:

While Olivia Martin observed life through her camera, the abyss gazed back at her. She discovers mysterious men follow her around, people close to her are dying, and her dreams are no longer her own as she falls head over heels for a perfect stranger. A chance encounter leads to an obsession that could destroy everything she has ever known or loved. Olivia is about to find out there is a lot she doesn’t know and sometimes what you don’t know can kill you.

I think it sounds incredibly interesting and I can not wait to get my hands on a copy! Until then, I am happy to give you:

Rules to Survive a Horror Movie

If you wake up one morning in a secluded cabin (haunted hotel/house, the only living person for miles, camping near Crystal Lake, Haddonfield around Halloween, to discover you didn’t really wake up you are still in a dream, a town with lots of corn and no parents, to a creepy phone call wanting to know your favorite scary movie, etc.), you may be in horror movie.

Rule #1- Don’t panic. Well, maybe panic a little because there are scary things after you, but pull yourself together quick before you become an extra.

It is important to keep your head about you, in more ways than one, and figure out what type of horror movie you are in.

-Is this a zombie movie? Have people been sick and dropping like flies? Are you the only person for miles? Are undead people trying to bite you?

-Is this a slasher film? Are all of your friends slightly more slutty and want to camp? Are you or they having nightmares? This one is important… do you have a babysitting job?

-Is this a vampire movie? Do you have a really hot neighbor that mostly comes out at night? If you answered yes to that why are you still reading this? Go talk to him. *waggles eyebrows* Unless that neighbor is about 17 and smells like teen spirit and angst, in that case you aren’t in a scary movie. Stop fretting you have a vegetarian vamp.

After you figure out what you are up against, you must start preparing. Rule #2- Always be prepared. Find a weapon. Even if you don’t see the psycho, carry it around with you and for goodness sakes do not sit it down somewhere!?! Always expect someone is around every corner, sneaking up behind you, hiding just out of sight.  

*important note* When you see said psychopath do not drop, throw, or do anything else that is stupid with your weapon.

Okay, so now you are armed and paranoid the next step is NOT escaping. That’s right, make no escape efforts. Do not be fooled by the friend who is pulling on your arm telling you to come this way. Freddy, Jason, and Michael have been doing this for a lot longer than you, and they know you are going to go outside. Rule 3- Stay mobile and stay hidden.   The best defense is a good offense. Running away is not an offense. You hide quietly (Rule 4- Absolutely no crying!) with your weapon that you haven’t dropped or thrown away, and you wait for an opportunity to either attack or move somewhere the killer isn’t.  Rule 5- Be aware of your surroundings. While you are hiding, if you don’t see the monster, it’s probably behind you, next to you, or waiting for you to do something dumb.  Rule 6- Don’t be dumb. Really this can be applied to all aspects of life (this goes double for the driver in front of me on my way to work this morning!)

Congratulations you have survived 2/3 of the movie, but now you are at the part where survival is going to get tricky. The movie is winding down there are only a couple people left, and you know at least one of the people the audience thought would survive is going to bite the dust. You might think this is the part where you hunker down and continue to hide, but no.  Rule 7- Be heroic. You haven’t been heroic so far and that’s good. The early heroes don’t live until the end. However, the people at the end of the movie who step up to fight the bad guy do, normally (70/30, really). What happens is one person decides to be a hero, and inspires the other to do the same then the killer ganks the other person and the original hero is left with the glory. Rule 8- Never assume the killer is dead. It doesn’t matter how dead you think it is, it will come back for one more scare. Evil always defies the odds so be ready for it (see rule 2).

Those are the rules to survive a horror movie, now just hope there isn’t a sequel.

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So what do you think? Would you have what it takes to survive? Let us know in the comments!

I would like to say a huge thank you to Liz for providing this post for us! Be sure to connect with her through her website, twitter, and facebook.

GUEST POST: M.G. Miller – Lycanthropy: a Disease, Not a Crime

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It’s Friday and I have another special treat for you: Guest blogger M.G. Miller.

M.G. Miller is a Southern Gothic novelist and former editor for Surreal, a national magazine of speculative fiction. He has won Best Novel awards from Arkansas and Oklahoma states, a Deep South Prize from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette and an Arkansas Governor’s Award for Literature. His award-winning literary novel, Bayou Jesus, concerning racism and religion in the Deep South, will be reissued December 25th by Southern Exposures Press exclusively on Amazon Kindle and has recently begun production for the audio version. Bayou Jesus is the first of three Miller titles to be released in 2012. In July, his historical horror novel, Her Grave Embrace, will be reissued as well, followed next December by Murderous, a novelization based on a true crime.

In addition to that impressive list of achievements, M.G. Miller is a true southern gentleman with a fabulous sense of humor. Both of which are evident through his post. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Lycanthropy: A Disease, Not a Crime

When the moon is fat, I can hardly sleep, no matter if I’m dead tired, no matter if I pop some Valerian Root before I go to bed.  But is it any wonder?  If the moon can affect the tidal pull of the Earth’s oceans, and humans are composed of about 60% water, of course there’s going to be a little moon madness, a little ebb and flow, going on within us, whether we’re aware of it or not.

In the past, I’ve had to take the drastic measure of hanging a blanket over my bedroom window to try and dim that midnight sun.  But more often than not, it doesn’t seem to work.  I still toss and turn, and my entire body itches.  Mornings after, my beard has grown at twice its usual rate.  Sometimes I wish I’d just go ahead and turn into a werewolf to get it over with.  Slaughter a few sheep, chase some red hoodies around, maybe take out the village drunk.  But then I’d probably wake up naked in a ditch somewhere, and that wouldn’t be cool.

I may have my share of fur, but unless I’ve been lied to all these years, I wasn’t born on Christmas Day, and I certainly don’t have a unibrow.  That’s the legend I’ve always heard about how you can tell if a man is a werewolf or not.

But most legends are based on some fact, and if there’s one that I do believe in to a degree, it would have to be about our four-pawed pal, simply by the way the moon affects me.  During a full moon, crime rates go up, and violence is more prevalent.  Some pretty weird things, other than my inability to sleep, have happened to me during a full moon too.

Two incidents involved bikers.  Years ago there was a biker pad around the corner from me.  One full moon night, one of them knocked on my door and asked to use the phone.  Seems his buddy (a midget biker, no less) had O.D.’d on something.  But by the time the ambulance arrived, Little B. was already in Harley Heaven.

Another full moon night, I was still awake at three in the morning, with the front door open, when I heard footsteps clomping onto the porch.  I looked up to see another biker, with long hair and a beard, looking in at me through the screen door.  He was smiling.

It was a little unnerving because of the late hour–not to mention the fact that when I walked closer, I noticed he had blood all over him.

“Hey, man,” he said.  “Could I use your phone?”

I thought maybe he’d been in an accident, and asked him if he was all right, but he said no, he was just fine.  Just wanted to call a buddy to come pick him up.

“Are you sure you’re OK?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”

I averted my eyes from his blood-spattered face to his blood-smeared jacket, and he followed the line of my gaze, looking down at himself.  Then he looked back up at me, his face puzzled.  He seemed completely oblivious to all the blood, and if he wasn’t going to say anything about it, I sure as hell wasn’t going to press the subject.

I let him call his buddy (outside on my cordless), and he thanked me, had a seat on the porch to wait, and lit a cigarette.  Seemed like a nice guy, even told me a couple colorful jokes while he waited.  But as I laughed uneasily, I just stood there wondering, Who’d he just kill? and hoping it was merely one of the village sheep.

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What strange things have you noticed occur during the full moon? Anything as crazy as what happened to M.G. Miller? Share your stories and observations in the comments!

Want to read more by M.G. Miller? Be sure to connect with him online:

Website: http://www.mgmillerbooks.com/
Blog: http://www.mgmillerbooks.wordpress.com/
Facebook Author Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/MG-Miller/165654790177878
Twitter: http://twitter.com/m_g_miller