Hello, my gangsters. How is it hanging? I, Coty the Gorgeous, have returned for what is turning into “Coty Fridays” on Jessica’s blog. Basically every Thursday a conversation along the lines of this takes place:
Jessica: I’m tired.
Me: Want me to write a blog for tomorrow so you can have a break?
Jessica: FINE GO AWAY.
So here I am again. If you know me, you know I have a thing for correct grammar. It’s why I teach English. I like to correct people when they are wrong. Sometimes they don’t like it. I wasn’t always a Grammar Nazi. In fact, I used to be a 15-year-old with access to the internet. This 15-year-old had an imagination that he used to create fanfiction. Harry Potter fanfiction. Bad Harry Potter fanfiction. This 15-year-old used to write an angsty 15-year-old blog. I recently discovered some of these writings again (the beauty/horror of the internet is that what happens on the internet stays on the internet). So I thought I’d share with you a collection of some of the best (read: worst) things I wrote as a 15-year-old along with some comments from a much more mature and wise 21 year old. I will also be grading myself.
1. The First Thing
“Ah, today is the first day of LiveJournaling. Thought I may as well get updated on something. I’m so old fashioned *Big Dramatic Sigh*! Anywho-what-were-when-how-why, I’m not sure how long this’ll go on before i get bored.”
Ah, look at me. This is literally the earliest piece of writing I can find online. Notice my “anywho” bit, like I was witty or something. And also isn’t the lowercase “i” an attractive quality in me? Also, why am I old-fashioned for being lazy?
2. The Matrix
“Well, I figured I should give an update to thejournal anyway.”
In a later post, I referred to my Livejournal as “thejournal.” One word. Honestly I still feel pretty clever about that one.
3. “Life sucks. Went to the doctor yesterday. Got 102 dang needles poked in my arm”.
This makes me laugh. Do you appreciate my theatrical entrance as much as I do? I also enjoy the fact that I said “dang.” I don’t remember the last time I said “dang.” I was probably 15. Note: I remember the needle event. It was an allergy test. It did feel like 102 needles.
4. “I will be posting more later, but I need to show some excitment here! After nearly two months of having no audio privacy on my computer I found a pair of two dollar headphones at the local Dollar General! Unfortuanetly the gay 4 ft cord doesn’t reach from the jack to my head (sexual pun intended)”
This one makes me laugh because I don’t know what I needed “audio privacy” for as a 15 year old. To this day I still can’t correctly spell unfortunately without spell check. Kudos to me on the sexual pun. Shame on me for pointing it out. I also like my use of the word “gay” as an adjective for a cord.
5. “Draco, this Hermione, Harry’s bad, really bad, he’s asking for you hon. Can you come?”
This is my personal favorite because it’s from a fanfiction I wrote about Harry dying. Yes, Draco and Harry were lovers. No, I did not intend for Hermione be a caveman.
Grade: F for funny.
So that’s a list of some of the best stuff I wrote as a 15- year-old. There’s loads more out there. Good luck finding it. Since today is Friday I have a little game for you to play. I posted this on my angsty blog like 5 times because it was fun to do. It’s called “Your Life: The Soundtrack” and I’ll post my answers in the comments!
- – - – - – - Your Life: The Soundtrack – - – - – - – -
So, here’s how it works:
Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
Put it on shuffle.
For every question, type the song that’s playing.
When you go to a new question press the next button.
Some songs fit perfectly.
– - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
Falling in Love:
Getting back together:
Long night alone: